Thinking Out Loud

Hi, F! you might be interested with this entry because of the title, which reminds you of one of the sweetest songs of the decade.

I guess you are assuming that the entry has something to do with the song, its lyrics and singer or with its place in Billboard ranking ---in short COMMENTARY of it. (Tama ba ako? LOL. Pero wiz ate at koya, walang kinalaman ang title sa kanta o kay Ed Sheeran. Bleh.)

The title is what I am doing now while looking at the peak of the mountain here in Kagubatan. Forgive me if I fail your expectation. (Wala kasi akong maisip na title. Sorry pooowszssh!Lol)

Seriously speaking. (Ayan ha. SERIOUS NA!)

Thinking out loud for me is a good way of discovering more of yourself and expressing the bolder version of you. BUT in real sense, it’s an idiomatic expression which means an act of saying things that might better remain as private thoughts.  I have been doing this for many times, and it really helps me to feel good. Lemme share what’s on my mind at this moment:

I’ve been missing the days when I was young, when I was free of obligation and responsibilities to anyone under our roof. Way back then, I wished to get old so I could perform things without restrictions. That was I thought of being “mature” then.

Now that I am, I can’t help but smile how silly I "was" to think that age excuses someone in facing obligation and responsibilities.

How silly I was then to think that so-much-convenience in life would only happen after beating the requirement of MTRCB in some films. Like the ones in the poster: bolded, big and captivating--- RATED R-18.

I thought that if I would be able to get such age I would be excused of many restrictions in the society. Imagine how beautiful to watch films which were not supposed to be shown in public, in all ages,  in General Patronage. It was like an exclusive-film-for-exclusive-people thing.

It was so great for a 10-year kid to dream such. I was silly to think that film is life in this regard. I was so eager to pull the hour, days and years. I was so enthusiastic to be mature, to get age, to be independent, to have my own decision, to have everything.

I was silly then to dream such. I was silly then to be eager, to be enthusiastic, and to get old without enjoying the days. I was crazy by not thinking that age would always be sandwiched with roller-coaster-ride-like- life and BIG and MORE responsibilities and obligation.

I was so naïve to wish that moment to happen without preparations. I was not trained that well in facing what I've been facing.

My life is like a wish-then and wish-now thing. I wish now to be young again. To be a 10-yearold kiddo who is not troubled with the things to do, to accomplish, to perform and to show. How I wish to enjoy my life again and be with the people whom I considered the best in  the land.

How I wish.

A wish which I guess useless now. I cannot do anything but to make the best of every minute now. To make my views brighter despite the downs of life and inspite of less ups of it.

I cannot do more but to live a life--- a life with preparations because I am the head now. The source of strength and everything of my family.

A life that's not ordinary as what I've been seeing it. A life that is not only mine.


Think life,
Mc