How to Sustain the Love of Your Partner in a Relationship

Many would say that being in loved is something that everybody wants. The joy that it brings to one’s life is so immeasurable to the point that you wish it will be forever.

In reality, love fades. This is subjectively true, and has been proven many times. If you ask couples who have been together for decades. They would say that many phases in their time together love disappeared. I even mentioned it here, How do you start forever?

One of the best foundations in long lasting relationship is commitment.

(Do not forget that faith that you will be forever and putting God as the center of your relationship MATTER.)

But, also remember, commitment alone will not stand. It needs love. Both love and commitment complement each other. If one’s commitment is weaken by some factors (i.e. other girl/boy, extra-relationship) the love of the real partner tightens the relationship. This is a very challenging stage that everybody would not wish to face.  

Sustaining love is difficult but there are some ways to achieve it. Here are the things which I believe very effective to do:

1. Keep the Excitement Growing

In partnership, excitement really matters. This would make your love one keeps on holding you and the relationship. One of the ways to keep the excitement growing is keeping the “mystery” alive.              True. Mystery makes your partner interested to you. If you embody a sort of “mystery” your loved one will keep you wanting to find more about you. It’s not bad not to be an “open cake” in a relationship. Sometimes, mystery drives your partner to be clingy and stick-to-one companion.

Here’s a good excerpt of conversation with a very good friend who has been in a relationship for 10 years now.

Me: What makes you hold on in the relationship?

He: Very difficult, but because of the love and her mysteries, I stayed.

Me: (?) Which means, there’s a point that you try to give up?

He: Only once. You know many times (NAME OF THE GIRL) disallows me to literally 

       know more about her, and it makes me curious, keeps me guessing and surprised all

       the times. It keeps me the “urge” to know everything about her. It keeps me excited

       and it somehow keeps me faithful and interested with her all the times. 

2. Don’t Be a Boring Partner

Generally once a person gets bored to his/her partner, love life becomes dull.   Even if you love the person so much, point will come that you will be getting fed up, tired and bored with him or her. To sustain the positive mutual feelings with each other be an interesting partner. Do not always start your conversation with the things you already asked many times in the past. Do not make your loved one feels that you are indifferent and unconcerned towards him. Always have something new to offer to your relationship. In simplest way, if you used to tell or text him/ her about your experiences from work or study, you let him/her start his narration or you ask him how he is right at that moment.

Many times, being unconcerned is tantamount to becoming a boring partner. Love is not boring and self-centered. It is an open, active, lively and dynamic feeling that mutually shared by one another. 

          3.      No One is Above Someone

Good relationship tells us that no one is a domineering person who dictates this and that, because love gives one another the equal opportunity to feel and share the blessings in it. If you really love one another, unity must come in and unity does not mean that one dominates the other or that the stronger controls the weaker. One might be submissive for a day and the other one will drive the relationship but not to the point that he/she domineers all throughout nor she/he nods and say "yes" all the time. Sustain love by being fair with one another and I guess that’s a good deal for both of you.

4.       Don’t Become so Speculative, Jealous, Strict and Conventional

 Love has no jealousy and speculation, neither strictness nor conventions. Love is positive that requires positive excitements in it. Excitements can be brought by positive values that the person gives and delivers: humility, understanding, honesty, and openness. Things have Domino Effect. We cannot sustain the love if we stick to speculations and gossip of others because this would lead to jealousy and if you feel such you will be strict and very orthodox which at the end will weaken your relationship and strangle your partner. The wonderful feelings in life start when you relate to your partner in very considerate, concerned, compassionate, honest, and dedicated ways. 

    

    5.       Always Become the Best Person for Your Partner Every Day

It has been said that a healthy relationship makes people grow and  become better. Always be the first person who positively affects your partner’s views on life and relationship. Usually, a person goes to a wrong path not because of losing love for the partner, but because he/she has seen better person that complements the lacking qualities of his girl or her boy. Do not be just a complacent and mediocre person, but always become the best that you can be, because at the end  in a way or another your partner will be challenged to reciprocate the best things that you show in the bond. Neither you nor your partner is perfect but it doesn't mean that you are not capable of doing great things in life—relationship. 

Friends, always remember the adage: 

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

I wish you to have a positive relationship!

Love, love, love,

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